Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
