I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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