After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
