He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
