i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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