On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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