Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
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