how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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