adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
