she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
