I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
