my mouth tastes like poor choices
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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