There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
