Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
