Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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