she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
