fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
