On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
