i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
