he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I woke up under a house in Key West
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