Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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