put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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