Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Randomize
