hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
