ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
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