So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
