I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
