I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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