Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I need to stop coming to work sober
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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