You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
