I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
