I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
