Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
