winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
