this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
