Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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