So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
