what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
