Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
