This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
