Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
