Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
