I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
