so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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