And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
