do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
