I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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