went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
