I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Randomize
