just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
