Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
