So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
