The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
